Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
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Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
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We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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