My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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