I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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