I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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