It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
