please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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