his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
