i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
