I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
40s are totally the cure
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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