She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
