you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
