Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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