he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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