i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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