Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
