fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
