Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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