I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
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