We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
