god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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