My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
