I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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