I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
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She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
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I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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