my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
