he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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