Pants 0. Shit 1.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
