I feel like abortions should bother me more
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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