That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
