it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Randomize
