Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Woke up backwards on a recliner
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
