so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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