like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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