Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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