so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
