we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
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