His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
