but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
