Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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