Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
