Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
