Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
