How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
