I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Randomize
