goodnight i made you a song goodbye
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
