dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
