yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
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