I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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