She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
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It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
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