I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
