my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
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