who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
