I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Houston, we have a squirter
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a burrito and a hug.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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