I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
She's better-looking with the mask on.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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