Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Randomize
