Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
This girl is more easily done than said...
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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