now i know why i became what i already was.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
