I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
