I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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