i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
